i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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