Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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