Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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