i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My ass is underappreciated
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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