I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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