He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
