i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
