He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
