And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize