Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
North Korea, Best Korea!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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