at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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