So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize