Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
