it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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