It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
