Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize