You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
