you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
