he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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