I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
