Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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