That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
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as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
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they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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