She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
