I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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