If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
