i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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