he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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