Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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