he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
