the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
