I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
