when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
