So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
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