i jhust puked up my retainher.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
