I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
