Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Enjoy the penises
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
