My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
