found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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