Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
