She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
