Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
