Having a random hookup so left but love u
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
