4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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