so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
