so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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