wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
