Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
