T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
