Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
