so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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