She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize