I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
