1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Terrible idea I love it
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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