Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
