On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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