You're completely useless in the revolution.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
