yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Can Purell be used as lube?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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