i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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