some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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