what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
