he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
