he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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