Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
